Secret Angel Giveaway #1

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WOW -BIG KARMA QUESTION

here goes - awhile back i was torn up by a co-worker who i was having difficulty getting along with -this person and i were like oil & water -we would argue fuss & fight all the time (and we sat in cubicles right next to each other for 2 yrs)

well i was discussing the "problem" with my guru on the phone one day, at the time (this goes back 4-5 yrs now) and he explained to me -like any good guru would, to forgive them as they were "an Injured soul"

at the time -i wasn't trying to hear that as i was HOT -but -as all things -time and heat passed

it turned out -i was asked to work in a diff location for work related issues and i ended up leaving that office location for almost a year

so it turned out since we were no longer in proximity to each other -this other person needed to "replace me" with someone NEW to hate (LOL) and they did

soon after my departure we (the other worker & me) became "friendly" again and i learned to be nice to those around you even if you dont like them or vice versa -cause you never know the "realities" which are lived in each person's mind

the lesson learned was -dont ever hate someone as you never know the circumstances in which any "enemy" can become a friend in life!!

i now try and treat everyone as i wish to be treated -the cardinal rule in life

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I'm adopting a family, sort of.

A woman I have known for a decade or so, our past meetings were cordial but sometimes confrontational mostly due to the husband who has an aura of friction and confrontation around him. Several months ago she learned her husband was having an affair, once discovered he moved out of their home and in with the new woman, removed the wife from all funds and not paid the mortgage. As a housewife-homemaker, not employed and her funds depleted she has until Dec 31, 2009 to vacate their former home as it's going into foreclosure.

I have offered her and her 12 year old daughter, two dogs and two birds sanctuary in my home. Here they can have some peace away from the spousal abuse and the pain the soon to be "X" husband has and currently is causing. I'm covering expenses to relocate them from South Carolina to Arizona. I have completed the paperwork so the child can start school here after the holidays and allow them to have a fresh start. On Monday Dec 28, 2009 the moving truck arrives. They might have a bleak Christmas this year, but they New Year can only bring Peace and Prosperity for this mother and child.

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My step-daughter and I have had a strained relationship all our life together. I married her mother when she was 7 and she is now 18. Her father has always tried to get in the way of us having any kind of relationship. While she lived with us until she was an adult we would argue about everything.

A few months back she moved out of state to try and find work. Well this past weekend she called us out of the blue and stated that she found a ride from a friend and that she was coming to town to visit. My wife was very excited and I was a little worried because of the tension she brings with her.

While driving to Utah her and her friend ran into a bad snowstorm and the roads were closed. She called us and said she still wanted to come and visit for the holidays. She said she used all her money to pay for a hotel, and that she would not be able to get a ride back after her stay.

I knew that my wife really wanted to see her so I offered to pay for her to return home after her weekend visit. She made it to town and stayed for several days and I then gave her the money for her return trip home. This was very hard to do as finances are tight right now and travel expenses aren't cheap. I felt good about it after the fact even though I was hesitant at first. This allowed my step-daughter and I to get a lot closer and it brought tears to my wife that I did this. I'm glad I finally was able to find a way to get closer to my step-daughter. My wife said this was the best present she could of asked for.

UPDATE!! I went outside to check the mailbox and my step-daughter sent me a gift for Christmas to say thanks forgiving her the money for her return trip home. It wasn't much, but the fact that she sent me a gift touched my heart deeply. She has never given me anything in the 11+ years that I have known her. This was the best Christmas present that I could of asked for and I'm not talking about the gift, but the fact that she finally did something to show her appreciation for me or somebody else has just floored me. It's amazing what one small act of kindness towards somebody can do to to change both peoples lives forever. Thanks for reading.

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I took on an NA sponsee about 6-7 years ago at the request of a peer and mentor. Let's call him "Sam".

This was someone who most people had labeled "constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves", an AA term that signifies that THIS might be a person who never "gets it". The premise is that if you are capable with being honest with yourself, you may be able to engage the process which can lead to freedom from alcoholism and addiction!

This is someone who had abused women, lost jobs, stole from everyone he knew, and had some severe mental disorders. He had a history with "the program" and burnt most bridges with people in his life. No one seemed to want to work with this guy.

I reluctantly agreed.

Without offering too many details, this person has now been clean and sober for over 5 years, has held a job for almost the same amount of time, cleared up all his legal issues, sees a therapist and is on meds, and is in a relationship (that at last word) is very healthy.

I will exclude the absolute hell (at times) that I went through with this person. Needless to say that it's not an experience that wish to duplicate. It's not that I might not still help folks, but I can't see myself making it through another "Sam".

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Interesting question. I can think of a number of instances, but will only present one. About 7 years ago I had an employee that was a hard worker. He was an ex gang member in Albuquerque and was still out of prison on parole. I did not care for this guy much at all, but he came to work every day and did what was expected of him. However, being an employer for many years, I always knew that there was "that other side" of him. One day, one of my vendors calls me and asks me to come to their facility so that we could talk. He informs me that this individual had been harrassing one of his employees and threatening him if he didn't steal parts/merchandise from the facillity for him. This didn't surprise me one bit. He wanted to tell me this because they were preparing to press charges against "my guy" and wanted to give me a heads up. I intervened by acting as a middle man to keep "my guy" from going back to prison which would have been automatic.Resolved the issue without incident to the extent that the vendor was satisfied.

Ya know, to this day I'm not quite sure why I did that. He'd have stabbed me in the back in a heart beat if given the oppurtunity. IMO. Did it serve to create any loyaty? Did it help him to gain a different perspective on things? Answer is............. NOPE!!!! Just an evil guy through & through. Maybe I just should'a let him go back to prison, but it wasn't in me to see that happen.

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I find these types of stories the hardest to read and to write. With that said here is my story.

My in-laws have both retired and are in their late seventies. They are both in good health for their age. We have always had a good relationship as I have been married to their daughter for 28 years and we dated for 7 more before that. Their youngest son has struggled with depression and bi-polar disorder for many years. He has recently gotten much worse and now that my in-laws are retired they are suffering financial hardships dealing with him and the associated medical costs. They are proud people and they have refused my offerings of assistance siting my two kids in college as reason enough for me not to help them. I have figured out several ways to help them without them thinking it is financial help. I got them an EZ pass, I added them to our cellphone account as friends and family and several other of these types of support. But these were all small items not really helping to the degree they needed. Recently I started buying them gift cards for their local grocery chain. For some reason they think this is OK, not charity or overdoing it on my part, and I have continued to find reasons to give them these gift cards to help them out with the cost of food and to make sure that they are eating well. They live too far away for us to watch over them from day to day. I still need to do more. I have offered for them to come live here but they have refused that as they will not leave their home. This will be something that I need to deal with in creative ways and I will continue to be supportive to them and my wife as much as possible.

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This is a great idea TV.

My story is over a period of years that I am still struggling with to this day. It started when my last supervisor hired me as the manager of a state agency that I work for in 2005. Our relationship started off well she seemed like a decent person to work under and at the time I thought she was respectful. As time went on, she began to get very comfortable with me to the point that she felt like she could talk to me any way she wanted. She began to disrespect me in front of my subordinates, bark orders at me and took credit for the things I did for the agency. Needless to say this created animosity and great stress in my life. So much stress in fact that in 2006 I went into Arterial Fibrillation and was admitted to the hospital. My pulse was 180 bpm. I endured a EEG and I had to have Coumadin injections in my abdomen for 45 days. I recovered well and went back to work in the same environment. My wife was extremely angry because she knew what I was going through. At this point we could not and did not want to deal with her. It began to affect our relationship. In 2006 my wife and I decided it was time to purchase our first house, so we saved up and began looking and even though I was having a hard time working with my supervisor I tried create a healthier environment where I could be as stress free as possible. I didn't want another hospital visit. My wife and I found our house in April of 2007 and were very excited about the move from NYC to upstate NY. An hour and a half away from all my troubles.

This leads to my first good deed that I did for someone that I do not like. When my supervisor found out that we got a new house she was very interested in relocating as well. She asked me where we were moving to and I told her and gave her my agents information. After about a 8 to 12 month she acquired a new home in the area were I now live, but thats not it, lol. When I moved upstate, I still worked in the NYC, so I had to commute there from upstate for 18 months before I was able to get a transfer.

This leads me to my second good deed for someone I do not like. When I got the transfer, She ask me how it was working out on the new job upstate. Not being one to lie, I told her how wonderful it was and how well I am doing. She then ask me to keep a look out for positions in her job title and tell her when something was available. I did and although she is not my supervisor now, she is now working out of the same office that I am.

Now heres the kicker... Before we both were able to transfer, she was out sick for a while. Her time was dwindling down and she needed time to cover her sickness until she returned. Me being Mr. goody two shoes over here decided to donate 40 hours of my time to help her continue to receive her paycheck. 40 hours is a substantial amount of money out of my pocket on my salary. My wife was pissed and even I thought I was nuts for doing it, but she needed help.

To this day, Mrs. HG has no idea how I feel about her. She always asks where my house is and invites me and my son over to her house, but thats not going to happen. I run into her every now and then and she seems to be better with me, but when I see her it brings back those awful feelings of the past.

Sorry for such a long post, but thats my story...

Will

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Wow, some great stories here.

My wife doesn't get along with many of her family. Her mom pesters her all the time about her health and whenever she has anything wrong, like the cancer that she is battling now, her mom always trys to turn it around and make it sound like its her problem. We try to get over to her house at least once a month to take her grocery shopping and when we get to the register, I always pull out my wallet and pay for her grocerys. Shes on a limited income and lives in an assisted living home. This woman talks down to my wife everytime we are there, but we still make the hour drive to take her shopping and when my wife has to work, I've taken time off to make sure that she gets her shopping done. She is always nice to me and I try to be nice to her but my wife can't wait to leave once we get there. We recently added a phone line to our cell phones and took a new phone over to her so that she could stay in contact with the rest of her family after she cut off her long distance because she couldn't afford it.

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Please do not include me in the contest, but I wanted to submit a story also -

The most notable example would be my brother's now X wife. They were not getting along and in general she was not a very nice person to him, or others in the family. They probably should never have gotten married in the first place. You know how things happen and before long years have passed and you are married ...with kids.

Well they were trying to have a second child at the time when my brother was traveling a lot for his business. She had a miscarriage SADLY when my brother was in California for work. they live in Virginia. He could not get a flight back for almost 36 hours due to bad weather. Without thinking about it I drove 5+ hours in the snow to their house and spent almost 2 days with her until my brother could get home. She literally cried on my shoulder until he finally made it back. Was about the absolute saddest thing I have ever been through in my life and all I could really do was let her cry for 24+ hours. I cried a lot also and just tried to be supporting.

Even though she was not always a friendly person I refused to leave or do anything other then take care of her until my brother got there. When he did I quickly left so they could have their time together.

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I have truly enjoyed these stories a lot! I think it's a great idea and really helps us get to know each other. My story is going to focus more on what happened to me AFTER this act, because what I actually *did* wasn't any big deal.

BTW: I could NOT share this if this area were open to non-members because of the ANONYMOUS part of AA...

I stopped drinking alcohol through Alcoholics Anonymous sixteen years ago, 12.22.1993, and just in case you aren't familiar with the 12 steps, one of them deals with making "amends". A very large portion of the PROGRAM basically teaches you to focus on others to get you away from being selfishly concerned ONLY with yourself.

I jumped in with both feet an soon became MR AA. I was a publicity/cooperation with the professional community director, a group leader(GSR) and even a district leader(DCM), traveling all over the state to meetings representing my group and then the district at area functions.

Throughout this entire time my predecessor in most of these positions (moving up just ahead of me, all the way up to an area treasurer position) became a severe thorn in my side. I felt that she was always backstabbing and creating conflict and needed to be in charge of EVERYTHING constantly. Irritation grew to bitterness and a MASSIVE RESENTMENT was next. I literally would lie awake at night steaming about her and the "wrongs" she had heaped upon me. It was a very pitiful situation and something needed to be done as I was allowing these thoughts and emotions to negatively impact my life. This was something with perhaps eight years in the making (I'm a slow-learner, LOL)

So I spoke to my sponsor and several other wizened veterans and all agreed that I HAD to make amends to her. I knew I NEEDED to do it, but it was something I just absolutely LOATHED even the though of doing, but I eventually did it.

I called her and admitted that I had harbored feelings that were angry and bitter and that I had also treated her shabbily because of these feelings. I admitted to gossiping about her and speaking ill of her (perhaps Not so ironically these were much of the things that *I* was so offended because SHE had done to me...) I explained how I was praying for God to remove these feelings of ill-will toward her and that I would endeavor NOT to think or speak ill of her in the future. I did NOT mention my grievances against her, I basically "cleaned up my side of the street".

Well here's the interesting part: She certainly knew why I needed to do this and while she was a bit hurt about the gossip part (although UNsurprised), the call went very well and somehow we got on the subject of her sister whose husband had been paralyzed in a wreck and how devastating this was to HER and of course her sister and the family.

I was given an opportunity to look at her NOT as an enemy or "political" rival, but as a vulnerable fellow human being with her OWN set of problems to have to deal with.

I am not saying I *DID* anything particularly special for her, just listened and empathized and "got out of myself" and tried to be helpful. Pretty standard stuff.

What I am saying is that as a result of this single telephone call a miraculous change in my thinking occurred. I no longer carried a debilitating anger and crushing resentment toward her. I no longer felt any ill will, it was "REMOVED". just as the compulsion to drink had been. I have LITERALLY never felt angry or hurt by her again. Now as I said, this isn't a "David A is wonderful" type of story. This is actually a standard story I tell in AA meetings to illustrate:

A: The importance of *NOT* allowing negative emotions to go as far as I let them go (again, I'm a bit SLOW about some things)
B: What happened when I finally DID something about it.

Sorry if this wasn't a "random Act of Kindness" story, but it's the one I felt compelled to share.

Merry Christmas! and Happy חנוכה (Chanukah)

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Mine is pretty simple, My son's girl friend soon to be wife's father became very ill. They live in OHIO. I was selling in Portland Or on Thanksgiving weekend. She did not fly, Bad driver and it was winter. I had her drive down to Portland, pick me up on Monday. I drove her to Ohio so she would have a car and took a plane back to Portland for the next weekend selling. Her father died withing the week. She was able to get close to her father before he died. I flew back just before Christmas and drover her back to Seattle for the holidays. I always had trouble with this young girl, she was very distant and seemed never to appreciate anything people did for her. But I never expected anything from the experience and the cost was minimal for my wife and I so a fellow human could be with family at the end. I got one great gift out of all this. I felt that I had done something for someone without any real reward. But there was a reward. A warm and fuzzy feeling and the love of my Son. CARL