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. .. And so it seems, that I go through these periods where I lose track of myself. I get hateful, and narrow minded. I find little to pleased about. But plenty to be displeased over.
I've been around this earth for 52 years now. I wonder often how long it is going take for me to learn, about me. I ultimately alwayshave days like today, when everything becomes clear again. When something clicks and falls back into place, and the gear train starts to move smoothly again. I come back to the standard plain, and realize howgood a lifeI really do have.
It had nothing to do with the upcoming holiday, I'm Canadian so the holiday is somewhat lost on me at any rate. No, it was at lunchtime when I was heading into a McDonald's to grab a burger and a shake, when I saw all the homeless and out of work gathered. Panhandling, signs in some hands looking for odd jobs, looking for a way to get through the day. I drove through the lot into the drive-up lane . . . and realized I was out on the edge again.
Iam married to a beautifulwoman, a wonderful person,that loves me in spite of myself. My kids are awesome beyond description. I have a six figure job that I have convinced myself I hate with a passion. I own every toy and meaningless item I desire. AND . . . I had just come from the Post Office, where I mailed in a $711 winning one dollar scratch ticket! My head hit the steering wheel, literally, how do I get to the point . . . . the point where I forget all that I have, all that matters, and fall into the mire of self loathing and utter dissatisfaction.
I am thankful. And it does not have a gawdam thing to do with turkey. I am thankful that every so often I manage to move just the right way . . . and my head falls out of my a$$, and I can see clearly again . . . for a while . . . .
. .. And so it seems, that I go through these periods where I lose track of myself. I get hateful, and narrow minded. I find little to pleased about. But plenty to be displeased over.
I've been around this earth for 52 years now. I wonder often how long it is going take for me to learn, about me. I ultimately alwayshave days like today, when everything becomes clear again. When something clicks and falls back into place, and the gear train starts to move smoothly again. I come back to the standard plain, and realize howgood a lifeI really do have.
It had nothing to do with the upcoming holiday, I'm Canadian so the holiday is somewhat lost on me at any rate. No, it was at lunchtime when I was heading into a McDonald's to grab a burger and a shake, when I saw all the homeless and out of work gathered. Panhandling, signs in some hands looking for odd jobs, looking for a way to get through the day. I drove through the lot into the drive-up lane . . . and realized I was out on the edge again.
Iam married to a beautifulwoman, a wonderful person,that loves me in spite of myself. My kids are awesome beyond description. I have a six figure job that I have convinced myself I hate with a passion. I own every toy and meaningless item I desire. AND . . . I had just come from the Post Office, where I mailed in a $711 winning one dollar scratch ticket! My head hit the steering wheel, literally, how do I get to the point . . . . the point where I forget all that I have, all that matters, and fall into the mire of self loathing and utter dissatisfaction.
I am thankful. And it does not have a gawdam thing to do with turkey. I am thankful that every so often I manage to move just the right way . . . and my head falls out of my a$$, and I can see clearly again . . . for a while . . . .