Watch Freeks banner

41 - 60 of 125 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #41
An Arizona fire that caused millions of dollars in damages began when a father at a gender reveal party used a high-velocity firearm to shoot a target that exploded! so... we don't know the gender BUT we do know who's getting custody...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gary

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
I was driving in the rain listening to Bob Dylan's Theme Time Radio Hour: Whiskey and couldn't help but think that a hard Fall's gonna rain.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Accutronitis

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #44
A popular new trend in Los Angeles is party goats which are goats that are brought to parties and they jump onto people's backs, meanwhile, a popular new trend in China is studying math and science...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #45
Did you hear about the 8-year-old in Penalvanya that has become a barber and now gives free haircuts to kids in the neighborhood? and guess what? they SUCK!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #46
SpaceX launched a rocket with the cremated remains of 100 people, unfortunately, they weren't cremated when it launched...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #47
Chris Rock is going to do a reboot of the movie franchise "Saw" with the retitling of "Seent"! :ROFLMAO:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #48
Bad news for ice cream moguls Ben & Jerry, the food and drug administration banned their newest flavor "Ben's Back Hair"... :eek:

Now that's a Norm Macdonald joke! lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #49
A camel, a cow, and a donkey were found wandering down a Kansas road, they told police they got lost looking for the setup to a Norm Macdonald joke!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
Three nuns sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes by and flashes them. Two nuns had a stroke. One couldn't reach.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Accutronitis

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #51
Pope Francis ended a Vatican summit by promising the Catholic Church would confront the clergy sex abuse "head-on" instead of their usual way, face down, a$$ up... :eek:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #52 (Edited)
I'm always flying somewhere and I don't like it at all! like the other day flying into Chicago I had a two and a half-hour flight delay and I'm stuck in an airport bar talking to some random guy, and I've got nowhere to go!

So I'm like hey man what do you do? and he says, and I quote "oh nothing right now but I used to be a priest", as in, oh $hit, right?

But I've got nowhere to go, so we keep talking and drinking and finally two hours go by and the guy gets up and says "hey I've got to catch my flight, but I don't want to lie to you, I used to be a priest but I got kicked out because I molested a kid"...

Now, here's the thing, after talking to this guy, and getting to know this guy for two hours, I have to admit, he was actually a really cool guy... if you can forget about, you know, all that Jesus bull $hit! :ROFLMAO:


Shark party! lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Accutronitis

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #55
For the fourth year in a row, Hawaii was named the happiest place in the country! That again, Hawaii is the furthest place away from the rest of the country!!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gary

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
What does the sign on an out of business brothel say?

Beat it. We're closed.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Accutronitis

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
Discussion Starter #58
After my grandfather passed away a large trove of vintage pornography was found under his bed, frankly, an embarrassing amount of vintage pornography!!!

So I blamed it on my grandfather...


Shark Party! lol
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gary

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
A Texas farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says: “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says: “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks: “And what are those?”
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look: “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
570 Posts
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off… After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I’m afraid to pee.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Accutronitis
41 - 60 of 125 Posts
Top