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Discussion Starter #21
A golden retriever in Oregon is being honored after digging up $85,000 dollars of black tar heroin in his family's backyard, the family could tell something was wrong when their dog got really good at playing the jazz sax...
 
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Boudreaux and Thibodeau are sitting on the porch watching a dog lick his balls

Boudreaux: Mais, some days I really wish I could do that also.

Thibodeaux: You probably can, just make sure to pet him first.
 
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Discussion Starter #23
Did you know the world's heaviest woman died this week? the world's heaviest woman was best known by her catchphrase "STOP CALLING ME THAT!"...
 
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Barman says to Paddy “Your glass is empty, fancy another one?” lookin’ puzzled Paddy says “Why now would I be needing two empty feckin glasses?”
 
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Discussion Starter #26
A man in Florida was forced to shoot his pet Zebra after it escaped its enclosure and was running around in a residential area, which finally answered the question of, what's black and white and red all over?

No actual Zebras were harmed during the writing of this joke... ;)
 

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Discussion Starter #27 (Edited)
When I was a kid sometimes I would bring a friend home from school to play games, sometimes he'd be a white friend, sometimes he'd be a black friend, and every time he was a black friend my mom would get all weird and she would ask "hey, who's your new friend? is he a drug dealer?" and I would say "shut up mom that's racist! put your money away!"...

I bet you thought I was about to tell a racist joke, BUT I took a hard left and smacked the $hit out of my mom........ for almost no reason... lol


Shark Party! lol
 

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Discussion Starter #28
When I was a kid sometimes I would bring a friend home from school to play games, sometimes he'd be a white friend, sometimes he'd be a black friend, and every time he was a black friend my mom would get all weird and she would ask "hey, who's your new friend? is he a drug dealer?" and I would say "shut up mom that's racist! put your money away!"...

I bet you thought I was about to tell a racist joke, BUT I took a hard left and smacked the $hit out of my mom........ for almost no reason... lol


Shark Party! lol
By the way, my mom thought that joke was funny because she has a great sense of humor! lol

Love ya mom!
 

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Discussion Starter #29
Did you hear, LG has a new smartphone that emits ultrasonic waves to keep mosquitoes away... from your new brain tumor...
 
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Discussion Starter #31
Hey, did you hear Taco Bell is now selling a strawberry skittles freeze, you know, Mexican food...
 
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Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
She outgrew her B-shells!
 
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Discussion Starter #33 (Edited)
While cleaning my apartment my girlfriend once found a pair of earrings that were not her own and immediately she hit the roof! she said "Hey, whose are these? I demand answers!" so I told her, honey lets handle this like adults, please calm down, take a deep breath, and finish cleaning my apartment...
 
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Discussion Starter #34 (Edited)
Video Daily Double!


You see! I told you! palm reading is real!

Hey, Hey, Hey!
 
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Discussion Starter #35
Now... My best friends wife is a born again Christan and we do not get along at all, the other day she called me up to yell at me saying I'm a terrible influence on her husband because he called her a bad name, I said what... did he call you the "B" word? she said no, so I asked if he called her the "C" word? and again she said no, so I said, then he didn't hear it from me!


Shark Party! lol
 
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Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
 
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What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?


A wet nose.
 
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Discussion Starter #38
I've always been a gentleman, In fact, I would never hit a woman, let me repeat that, I would never hit a woman! ever! even if she had a knife... or a stutter... that's just the kind of guy I am!


Shark Party!
 
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Discussion Starter #39
My girlfriend and I argue a lot and it's always my fault, like the other night we went out drinking and got completely wasted, and the next morning I told my girlfriend that I think her mother tried to have sex with me last night! and she hit the roof and said, "Steve, that's impossible!" and I said, "well in that case you should always wear makeup"...


Shark Party!
 
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Discussion Starter #40 (Edited)
Hey did you hear? A non-profit group has announced plans to build a library on the moon!

Cool, said kids in Chicago... :rolleyes::LOL:
 
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