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Aspiring Expert
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2,405 Posts
Discussion Starter · #285 ·
A mom and dad find an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old boy's bed, the mom says "what are we going to do?" dad says "well we can't spank him"... :LOL:
 

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Super Moderator
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Yeah wow, and they were just lucky she didn’t hit
her head on something. Or were in a less safe area
when she fell off. 😲 Thanks for making us smile in
this case sir, as well as laugh ! (y)(y)

Here’s something for both animal, as well as guitar
fans... 😉

 

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Premium Member
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1,020 Posts
The other Sunday morning it was time for ol' Bill and Emma to head out for church like they always did every Sunday for the forty years they'd been married. Emma comes out in the den and finds Bill kicked back in his boxers flipping channels.
Emma says, "Bill, what are you doing? It's time to go to church".
Bill says, "I ain't going".
"Why pray tell aren't you going?!? Give me one good reason".
He says, "I'll give you three good reasons. One, I don't feel like it. Two, they're always talking about love this, love your neighbor, love that. They don't love me. And three, nobody cares if I'm there or not. I ain't goin'".
Emma says, "Bill, first, you feel fine sitting there flipping channels. Second, that's the most loving bunch of people we've ever known. Just last week they threw a birthday party for you and most of the congregation turned out. And third, you're the preacher dammit! Now put your pants on!
 

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Aspiring Expert
Joined
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2,405 Posts
Discussion Starter · #293 ·
Yeah wow, and they were just lucky she didn’t hit
her head on something. Or were in a less safe area
when she fell off. 😲 Thanks for making us smile in
this case sir, as well as laugh ! (y)(y)

Here’s something for both animal, as well as guitar
fans... 😉

Fun girls are just the BEST! :D
 

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Super Moderator
Joined
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18,276 Posts
The other Sunday morning it was time for ol' Bill and Emma to head out for church like they always did every Sunday for the forty years they'd been married. Emma comes out in the den and finds Bill kicked back in his boxers flipping channels.
Emma says, "Bill, what are you doing? It's time to go to church".
Bill says, "I ain't going".
"Why pray tell aren't you going?!? Give me one good reason".
He says, "I'll give you three good reasons. One, I don't feel like it. Two, they're always talking about love this, love your neighbor, love that. They don't love me. And three, nobody cares if I'm there or not. I ain't goin'".
Emma says, "Bill, first, you feel fine sitting there flipping channels. Second, that's the most loving bunch of people we've ever known. Just last week they threw a birthday party for you and most of the congregation turned out. And third, you're the preacher dammit! Now put your pants on!
Fun girls are just the BEST! :D
Tom, that was a great one. I have to try, and remember this. 😀(y)
And Steve, you are too much. 😄 Too funny sir ! 😊
 

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Long Time Member
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956 Posts
“An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals,” he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

“Very well,” said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
 

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Oh my God, that's an instant classic, along with one to remember ! 😁😊

What's neat to is it even though it's long, it's actually easy to remember sir. (y)(y)
Yet another one to remember, and use down the road. A real keeper RT !
Cannot thank you enough for posting it up for us !!!
 
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